As a government employee who was on the cusp of a potential shutdown, I spent some time the past few days thinking about the budget conundrum, marveling at the fact that a relative few members of our population remained embattled over government spending up to a point where they threatened the livelihood of a much greater percentage of Americans.  Even worse, personal agendas interfered with the resolution process, which made me want to cater the lunches for these discussions and serve nothing but knuckle sandwiches. Continue Reading

In late October a fellow coworker asked me if I’d like to participate in Movember, a charity that raises money and awareness for Prostate Cancer.  My answer was, “Sure!….what’s a prostate*?”  Actually, my response was more along the lines of, “Ummm…what’s MO-vember and what did it do with NO-vember?” Continue Reading

Known throughout the world for their excellent cuisine…*barf*…the British have set their sights on expanding the confectionery palette.  More specifically, they are targeting the relatively narrow range of ice cream choices currently available.  I say this jokingly, as it seems every time I arrive at the frozen food section of the grocery store there are no less than 17 new flavors available in diet-friendly quantities ranging from 1 tsp. thimbles to – “Forget the diet, I quit” ½ gallons. Continue Reading

Once again the Grammys has come and gone, placing its gold star of excellence on a select few artists, duos, groups, casts of TV shows, or shemale solo artists performing a live cover of a remix composed by a recipient of the lifetime achievement award in the category of best jazz ensemble west of the Nile.

As usual, the telecast was a lengthy ordeal, not including the two hours of red carpet coverage leading up to the actual awards ceremony.  Unsurprisingly, in the roughly six hours of coverage, cameras captured some classic D-List material from A-list celebrities, starting at… Continue Reading

I’ve been in the workforce long enough to have seen some seriously wacky emails drop into my inbox.  Whether they are in the name of actual work or a 110% waste of company time doesn’t really matter, they all end in me squinting at the screen while scratching my head, pondering the impetus for such retardedism*. Continue Reading

Music and art programs have long been fighting for their lives in schools.  Ever-threatening funding cuts leave these supposedly superfluous curricula playing 5^th chair to math, sciences, English and “other shit like spelling*.”

*As far as I can tell spelling is no longer a required skill in 93% of global industry.  Besides, texting has completely undermined teacher efforts and it is obvious that phonetics and brevity have carried the day. U kno what I mn? LOL. =P Continue Reading

Just because the new year launched over one month ago, doesn’t mean that I can’t make more resolutions.  The long and short of resolutions  is that they can be long-term, short-term, or terminal from the get-go.  Additionally I’ve decided they can be silly….and fictional.  Hence I’ve begun compiling a bucket list for myself.  While there is a degree of truth to all most some very few of these, I don’t expect to achieve them all in 2011….ore even before my time is up.  Might as well shoot for the moon and see where the chips fall, right.  I suppose #0 should be to not mix metaphors.  Here we go… Continue Reading