THE ORTHOPEDIST:

Previously I revealed that after 34 years together, my ACL and I parted ways. Perhaps you’re reading this because you’re mourning a similar breakup, but you’re moving on.

Ok, so you’ve decided that you’re not going to rest on your laurels, sitting on the sidelines watching life pass you by. If Roger Goodell shows up at your house and invites you to participate in the Punt, Pass and Kick Competition (despite being 34 years old), damnit, you’re gonna be ready. What next? Continue Reading

Until very recently the term “ACL” only brought to mind the sun-scorched dusty fields of Zilker park in Austin, Texas, and the annual music festival that draws crowds of thousands to inhale said dust and chase it with $9 plastic cups of Heineken…Austin City Limits. However, a short while ago my association with the acronym shifted drastically, focusing sharply on the medical version…Anterior Cruciate Ligament. The shift was brought on by a cross-field run in a coed soccer game, during which I took a “misstep” which cause my knee to bend left-to-right, versus the conventional (and highly preferable) front-to-back. I had not anticipated my knee’s decision to try something new and innovative thus my reaction wasn’t nearly as subdued and polished and I would have hoped. Here is how I wish I had handled myself. Continue Reading

In late September of 2012 the people at LinkedIn introduced the concept of “endorsing” your fellow contacts.  Simple and straightforward, the ability to vouch for a contact’s skills with a single click has great implications for a generation whose attention span lasts approximately…..man, I’m so hungry.  Kanye and Kim’s baby is gonna be straight cray cray!!  My cat has a phone but I barely let her use it.  YOLO!! #harlemshake Continue Reading

In case you didn’t set aside 3.5 hours of your life this past Sunday to marvel at the spectacle that was the 55th Grammy Awards, I will do you the favor of summarizing the evening’s events through an LDD lens.  That way, when you read this a week after the show and nobody is talking about it you can feel confident that you are also not talking about it, but it’s not because you don’t know, aren’t hip, or were too busy sitting on your left hand until it was asleep so you could give yourself the sloppiest handjob of your life. Continue Reading

There are plenty of things in this world that I don’t get, but occasionally something strikes me in such a manner that it’s hard NOT to comment.   While I feel that we as a nation are on the back end of this fad I can’t help but pay extra special attention to cars donning stickers of bullet holes.  For the longest time it sufficed to say, “Well, at least it’s not a pair of rubber testicles hanging off the back of a pickup truck,” but when I came across this “phenomenon” in the parking lot at work recently, it begged a more incisive look at the trend. Continue Reading

Recent studies have shown that Americans’ attention spans are growing shorter and shorter. Continue Reading