Finally, a music mix email to accompany a music mix.  It’s been a long time coming, three months to be exact.  Aside from lethargy, I will place blame on a number of factors.

1. After approximately 30 years, I turned 30 years old.  Entering one’s 4^th decade has its challenges.  For example, I have had difficulty with the following:
   1. Resisting the urge to eat dinner at 4 pm
   2. Remembering to pee outside of my pants
   3. Coping with the fact that none of my friends are named Esther, Clarence, Dottie, or Harold
   4. Pants that actually rest on my hips
   5. The internet

Although I’m getting better with most of these (except b), it’s a daily struggle and I just don’t know how the elderly have gotten on for so many years.

1. Soccer season has started!  While I love the game, holding tryouts is a bitch.  Commitment levels for males age 21 – 35 range from, “I’ll totally be there if I’m not too hungover/still drunk/sleeping/eating the remaining half of a burrito from last night/knitting/watching “Knocked Up” to “I’ll be there if I show up.”   Just ask the nearest woman age 0-127.  Fortunately, I’ve learned enough about the internet/emailing to cut people without them even having to show up.
2. At the end of October, I took the Structural Engineers licensing exam, a 2-day, 16-hour test.  This is the highest level of licensure for a structural engineer and was dubbed the “black belt in engineering” by my friends Chris (yes, both of them).  All I know as of now is that it takes more time to grade the test that it took to study for it….but not by much.  13 weeks to sift through handwritten equations, explanations, and BORING.  Regardless of whether I pass or not, you’ll probably be able to hear me screaming expletives when I get the results.

Speaking of “screaming expletives,” I have some news.  I will deliver it in the classic “good news, bad news” format.  So here’s the good news.  I haven’t had to wear slacks for 3 weeks. Can you guess what the bad news is?

If your answer was, “your workplace has implemented a ‘no pants’ rule,” you’re wrong.  That would fall under good news.  In fact, the correct answer is my workplace implemented a “no Sean’s” rule.  Burn. On. Me.

I believe the term is “laid off,” though I’d say “dropped off” is a more accurate description.

But forget dwelling on the negatives, I’m all about highlighting the positives.  At this point the silver lining has outgrown the cloud!

1. As a formerly unemployed friend pointed out, my pay has been reduced significantly, but my workload has reduced 100%!!!
2. Finally I’m part of a statistic I hear on NPR!  Is it wrong to pump my fists and flash my brights when they state unemployment is into double-digits?
3. You know all those little things that you want to do but never get done because there just isn’t enough time……yeah, I don’t have that problem.
4. When people I meet ask me what I do I reply, “I’m retired.”  I figure it’s not that far off and the facial expression I receive is twice as funny as if I tell them the truth.  This way, instead of feeling like I have to find a job, I’m “unretiring.”  It’s so Michael Jordan…..err, Allen Iverson.
5. More time to listen to and write about music!!!!!!!

So while the pity party was over a couple weeks ago, the “get an awesome new job” party is now starting and will be running 24/7 until I land at Rolling Stone or in the MLS (you can’t stop me from dreaming).  While I don’t expect outside help, any leads that involve writing, music or another creative enterprise are greatly appreciated.  I’m not certain that I’m done with engineering, but I need to take this opportunity to explore the option of “other.”  Here’s a hint at what I mean by “other:”

(Professional) Ninja:  I think the “professional” is implied, right.  Not sure what kind of code they adhere to, but it probably involves clean pajamas, an orderly living space, and knowledge of Microsoft Excel.  Check, check and check.  I wonder if they match 401k contributions…

Bernie Madoff’s Job:  Aside from being a total dickhead, that guy was doing pretty well for himself.

Monster Truck Driver or City Bus Driver:  Both deal with hoards of screaming white trash.

Leader of “The Seans” Band:  Similar to The Bens (Ben Folds, Ben Kweller, Ben Lee), but comprised of myself, Sean Lennon and Sean Combs.  Our first album will be titled, “2 Big 2 Fail,” and will feature the singles “Revoluseans” and “Bull(shit) Market.”  Shortly after the album drops, we will launch a line of clothing for today’s peace-loving gangtas, “Sean John Lennon.”  Just imagine.

At the very least, this experience has forced me to open my eyes and I’d encourage all of you take a minute to locate yourself in (at least) four dimensions.  Just think about it.

Given that I have had so much time away from the mixes, I have some catching up to do and I don’t want to overlook some of the outstanding pieces that have been featured.  Thus, in the spirit of “downsizing,” I am going to try an abbreviated version of the emails.  Note, I have bolded the word “try”, so don’t come-a-cryin when I send you 3 separate 5-page emails after I hit a whiskey-induced hot streak that would make Hemingway proud.  I’ve found that the time required to delete a 5-page email versus a 1-page email is negligible.

So that’s that.  The mixes are back in full effect and that should be the case from here on out, unless I’m not too hungover, still drunk, sleeping, eating the remaining half of a burrito from last night, knitting, or watching “Knocked Up.”

Amen.