In spite of thousands of years of interaction, the dynamics between men and women remain roughly the same.  As evidenced by this video, the rules of the game are just as they were in the beginning, and the results are nearly carbon copy.

Boy “A” sees pretty girl.

Boy “A” ditches friend, Boy “B”.

Pretty girl tempts Boy “A”.

Pretty girl then seeks attention of Boy “B.”

Boy “B” gives pretty girl half of a donut that’s been in his pocket. (classic move)

Boy “B” gives Boy “A” the finger.

Boy “A” cusses loudly, then punches Boy “B” in the face.

A playground brawl ensues until Man “A” and Man “B” try to break it up, only to fall victim to the pretty mother…and the cycle continues.

Nevermind the details, like how Boy “B” smells like ranch dressing, or how sick playground toys have become since I was a child, it boils down to a triangle, the simplest, yet most complicated shape in all of love and math.  Three points connected by three lines, a shape that often contains at least one broken heart.

In this case Dan, Patrick, and their on-screen sons are left bruised, bloodied, and forlorn, with only a set of monkey bars to help them cope with their unrequited love.

“Motherfu….”

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