Someone once said that getting pooped on by a bird is a sign on good luck.  I’m fairly certain this person was in sales.  But if there is any truth in this theory, Kings of Leon are the luckiest sons of bitches on the planet.

During a recent concert at a St. Louis amphitheater, the band was forced from the stage after only three songs by intolerable amounts of pigeon shit.  The unprecedented gesture of retroactive symbolism, representing all of KoL’s luck since breaking through to super-fucking-stardom, was granted by a fowl “infestation” in the rafters.   To give the sharp-shooting birds some credit, it wasn’t just the amount, but the placement of the fecal-fetti.  Per drummer Nathan Followill, “We had to bail, pigeons shitting in Jared’s mouth. Too unsanitary to continue…”

When reached for comment, one particularly ornery bird stated, “I said before the show, ‘If I hear “Sex on Fire” one more time, I’m gonna shit myself.’”  Apparently that wasn’t just a figure of speech.

With the show cancelled, the band simultaneously offered apologies to fans and chastised management of the venue.  However, despite granting refunds there is no guarantee that similar occurrences can be prevented, so unless they plan on mastering pigeon whispering or falconing, they might just have to revise their rider list to include golf umbrellas and BB guns.  In the end, it is likely fans would have preferred a full set from the band, but at least they’ll be able to walk away saying, “it was a total shit show.”